PD – Day 5

As I start today’s thought I have just warmed up some PD Chili Mac accompanied by Julie’s Detoxifying Red Lentil Salad. Now, I know this is just day 5 of my commitment to regain control of my health, but the best part has been all the cooking I have accomplished this week. It has helped I have been ahead of the game by PLANNING my meals, a task promoted by Julie. In fact, I already have next week’s menu worked out, attempting to use ingredients I already have, in order to minimize my trip to the market.

Today’s post isn’t food related though, it’s more personal and delves deeper into who I am and who I want to be. When the decision was made to better my health, I made a commitment to change. Unfortunately, many individuals don’t welcome change. The adage, “you can’t teach an old dog, new tricks” comes to mind and hits at the heart of the problem.

In my journey to health, I was the direct beneficiary. In some respect, my son and wife benefited, as their father/husband was in the best health of his life and should live a long and prosperous life. I embraced the decision, as life changing and upon seeing and feeling results was amazed at who I had become.

Unfortunately, there has been a disconnect, as I have not been able to carry this sort of commitment and determination as it relates to the mental aspects of my life. Poor decisions years ago had an adverse affect in my life that has continued to haunt me to this day. The person I was then, I still am today, even though I “swear” I am committed to change. It appears I continue to be that “old dog” unable to learn from the past, in order to make positive change for the future.

Even though pain has subsided, memories continue to reflect a negative message that has me questioning that lack of commitment to make a mental change in my life. A loss of faith and trust cut straight through to my heart, sometimes unable to mend that tear. Words carry no strength, as actions continue to speak a different tone.

In an attempt to heal and make positive changes, I have attempted meditation to resolve procrastination and improve self esteem. I can surmise there hasn’t been much improvement mentally as I continue to struggle, following a similar pattern I set years ago. Change is necessary, without I could end up in a very dark place that could ruin my mental state and turn my world upside down. How does one move forward, gain that motivation and commitment to be a better person and promote that change that came so easy when I was the beneficiary?

This commitment, would obviously benefit those around, from family and friends to co-worker or those individuals I come in contact with every day. I want to be “self less” but in order to be successful, change needs to occur. Aspects in my life need to change. Not quite sure how a Protective Diet lifestyle can aid in this aspect of life. Excuse are no longer accepted and “sorry” has no clout. Still change and commitment must unite in order to improve my mentality.